Forcing myself to do what I love

It’s a new year and oh God, there is so much blank space on this screen. When did I get so bad at blogging for my own site? I write every damn day and love this tiny little corner of the Internet, where I rant and rave and pour out my feelings. And yet, for the past few months, I’ve stuck to Instagram and Twitter and, uh, work. Yeah. Now I remember why I can’t find the time to  blog. Between motherhood and full-time employment, plus side gigs, I’ve lost a lot of my personal time (and energy, if we’re really honest). But guess what? If there are resolutions to be made, I’m going to blog more, write parts of that book I’ve been trying to write for ages, force the women in my book club to READ THE DAMN BOOK and conversate about it, and all the other stuff on my list…you know, learn needlepoint and start/finish family photo album-making and take on those home organization and decor projects. Easy. Get ready for all of the winning I’m about to do!

Here’s another secret/excuse: I’ve been forcing myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour (midnight). No more 2am blogging because I’m up for no reason! As a mature adult with two kids and many jobs, I decided over six months ago to prioritize sleep, and it’s mostly worked. As in, I sleep about 5-6 hours a night – sometimes even 7 – but usually between midnight and 6 or 7am. I’m so mature and functional, it’s scary!

I still live on coffee and feel like a zombie until the caffeine hits my bloodstream, but whatever.

So here I am at 2am, blogging. What happened? Christmas holidays, dammit. My dreamy/loving husband has been getting up with the kids and letting me sleep in, which results in me feeling less exhausted and staying up to do “one more thing” or watch “just one episode of that late night talk show/The Curse of Oak Island/Dateline” (murder TV is the best TV).

And you know what? IT FEELS LIKE HOME. Sort of like a traumatic childhood that you know was bad for you, but feels comfortable because it’s all you’ve ever known? That sort of home. But cozy nonetheless.

Anyway, 2017 is here and I’m going to attempt to demonstrate adult sleep habits AND write things and be a good mom and a good professional and maybe even do all that other stuff on my very doomed to do list. Wish me luck! I’ll need it, but if you can stick with me, there’s a 70% chance it will be worth the ride.

 

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